The Madisonian Dilemma . . .

We all scratch our heads and ponder . . . we even gripe and complain . . . about what we view as peculiar and questionable decisions handed down by the Supreme Court. It seems that over the past 30 to 40 years there have been a disturbing number of such rulings. The following are a few such decisions which I personally find troubling and perplexing:

1. A ruling upholding a State’s rights to impose surgery to prevent reproduction of citizens with developmental disabilities living in state facilities, without the consent of the individual or family. Chief Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote the opinion in which he stated, “One idiot per family is sufficient.”;

2. The ruling on the legal challenge by Madelyn Murray O’Hare against prayer and Bible reading in the public school system;

3. The ruling upholding a citizen’s right to burn the American flag in protesting the government;

4. Roe vs Wade . . . ruling that permits the wholesale slaughter of unborn babies; and

5. Recent ruling on what is being called “Gay Rights.” The Court issued its decision on the issue of same-sex marriage and ruled that such marriage is, in its opinion, Constitutional. I fear that decision will be the very act that will push this once great nation over the edge and render us morally bankrupt.

Each of these decisions disturb me. I understand each one is a reflection of our culture and who we have become as a people and that is exactly the basis for these rulings. There is a Constitutional principle known as the The Madisonian Dilemma, and it is a tension which the framers of the Constitution placed into the Constitution, intending that each generation would need to reconcile that tension. Under our founding documents, we are afforded many individual rights and liberties; however, there is also the right of the majority to govern. Thus, there is always the need to reconcile the individual’s right to be free vs the majority’s right to govern. A couple of examples of this reconciliation:

1. As an individual, I have the right to go swimming, but the majority has the right to govern where I may and may not do my swimming (e. g. the law has rightly placed a prohibition within the law against my right to show up on your private property and do my swimming in your pool, uninvited). Thus, I have the right to swim, but the majority also has the right to govern where I may swim (or perhaps to establish the boundary of where I may not swim).

2. As an individual I clearly have, under the 2nd Amendment, the right to keep and bear arms; yet, the majority clearly has the right to govern and establish by law just where I may use my guns, how I may use my guns, and when I may use my guns.

In both of these simple examples, the individual clearly has “individual rights,” however, the majority also clearly has the right to govern how the individual right might be exercised. Thus, there will always be some tension between these oftentimes competing rights, and the Supreme Court is clearly the body in which the Constitution vests the authority to examine and resolve perceived conflicts and decide upon which right shall prevail. While many of us find those decisions bizarre and peculiar (primarily Christians), the simple truth is they are a reflection of our culture in this generation. The sad truth is that not even all Christians agree on various decisions (e. g. The community of faith is divided over the issue of abortion with one side calling it murder – the taking of an innocent life – while the other side calls it “a woman’s right to choose.”)

My dear friend, Dr. Lewellyn Cartwright (Buddy) Johnston, Jr. and I for several years enjoyed afternoon coffee. One afternoon as we sat down to visit and have our coffee, Buddy, a Methodist minister, had just returned from his denomination’s Annual Meeting. He beamed with enthusiasm and said, “We voted down the proposition of homosexual Pastors at the meeting.” I said, “You seem to be happy about that.” With an expression of some dismay he said, “I am delighted about it.” I said, “It seems to me that you would be broken-hearted that your folks even had to vote on the issue . . . that it was even an issue to be debated. I think that it being an issue that required debate and call for a vote says much about your denomination and where it is headed.” I recall the sad look that came upon his face as he pondered my comment, and quietly said, “I suppose you are correct, I just had not thought of it in that context.”

Likewise, some of the issues the Supreme Court is called upon to decide speaks volumes about us as a society. It seems to me . . . that sadly, the decisions by the Court are not so much a matter of what is morally right or wrong, as much as it is a reflection of our society (the majority’s right to govern). The simple truth is that it is citizens who set issues before the Court to decide, and it is our generation that has challenged and argues matters of morality that were set long ago in the USA, by a much more moral generation than is ours. Consequently, there is a constant and continual call from the Holy Bible for a nation to repent and turn from its wicked ways. The call is for folks to submit to the authority of the Lord, who long ago set the boundaries of how we are to live.

It Seems to me . . . that we err when we condemn the Court; when, in fact, we ought to be afraid about ourselves and what our culture has become . . . as Christians we have remained largely silent. The truth is that we are called to let our voices be heard, both individually and collectively.

Crazy court rulings . . . are not a reflection of those black-robed judges . . . It is a reflection of our black-hearted culture.

A Grand Story . . .

I wonder how many books on adventure, love affairs, wars, families, success, failures, and other events of human life and experience have been written. How many movies and plays have been written and presented? How many songs have been written? There is simply no way to answer those question with any measure of accuracy.

The reason for such books, movies, plays, and songs is that humans just love a great story. It is in our DNA; it is just part of who we are. That has always been true, even in ancient times. Archeologist have found ruins of great outdoor theaters that would hold as many as 25,000 spectators. People have always loved to see life acted out.

Do you know that God has a story too? His story is of humanity and life itself. The Bible reveals much of God’s story, and Revelation not only brings that story to a conclusion, it also retells the entire story. Chapter 12 portrays God’s story in dramatic fashion. In fact, in chapters 10 – 20, the Apostle John tells about what God allowed him to witness.

. . . A mighty angel and a small scroll

. . . The martyrdom and resurrection of the two “Witnesses”

. . . The dramatic conflict between a fiery red dragon and a male child, his mother, and other offspring

. . . The rising of two beasts: one out of the sea . . . the other out of the earth

. . . The Lamb with His redeemed and sealed people as a great harvest takes place on the earth

. . . A third round of judgments poured out upon the earth from three bowls

. . . The judgment against the great prostitute and the beast

. . . A grand celebration in Heaven, and a wonderful wedding, as a rider on a white horse conquers the beast, after binding, releasing, and final crushing of Satan, followed by the Great White Throne Judgment

As I prepare to teach Revelation, I have read a great deal of material, most of which has been written by some very smart people (well they at least have a bunch on initials following their name), but I am not satisfied that they really know what they are talking about as they try to zoom in close and explain what each facet means.

Actually, I am inclined to think that my belief is about as on-track as anyone else’s! He is my belief on all of this:

That God, the great author of life, the creator of Heaven and earth and all that is within, will, in His own time and in His own way, bring the world to its appropriate end! What do you think?

How Much Better Can it Get?

I drive a GMC Suburban; it is black and beautiful. It is like no other vehicle.

I bought my first Suburban in the early 1980’s and have not driven anything else since (well, I have had a few corvettes that I use for date cars), but the Suburban has been my vehicle of choice; it just fits my lifestyle. I can put a couple of sky kennels in the cargo section and load up a few bird dogs for a bird hunt. I can tow my boat to the boat ramp or to Port Mansfield to fish. I can load it with stuff for an extended deer hunt. I can haul equipment to the ranch, but I can also have it washed and dried and pull up to the Yacht Club or Country Club for dinner and be in as much style as anyone there. It is a great car for family trips and it is extremely comfortable. It drives like a dream.

I think the current one is like # 16 or #17, I am not certain, but I trade every year or two depending upon miles and how much I like it.

The past few have come equipped with XM/Sirius radio and OnStar, both remarkable features. I just looked at my e-mail and had an e-mail from OnStar providing me with a diagnostic check-up on the car, as it sat in my driveway behind the house. It reported that all is well (17 points), and even revealed the tire-pressure of each tire. It also reminded me that 58% of the oil life was left before the next oils change is needed. No more spiral notebook in the glove box for service record needed, that is done by OnStar’s computer over the life of the vehicle.

How much better can it possibly get? I don’t know, but it sure beats those old clunkers I grew up driving around and constantly working on. The proof is in . . . I am a Suburban man! They are great cars and 200K miles is nothing. In fact, everything on the car is under warranty for 100K miles and the dealer has given me (in writing no less) a lifetime warranty on the entire drive-train. That is an extremely well made vehicle, and it is very good-looking!

The End of Times . . .

I don’t suppose that I can think of anything that can get a bunch of God-loving, God-fearing, and God-serving folks to fussing and feuding amongst themselves as can the last book of the Holy Bible – Revelation. I can’t even explain how crazy I find that sad truth to be, but I do know it is true . . . I have actually watched it occur. It broke my heart as I observed it, and I wondered in my mind and heart how that complied with Jesus’ command that Believers are to love one another, or what the Apostle Paul wrote about in his great Love chapter in his letter to the Corinthians.

Here is the absolute truth:

1. God will have the final say;
2. The world (as we know it) is going to end;
3. The Lord Jesus Christ is coming again;
4. There are going to be people who go to Heaven and live with God throughout eternity;
5. There are going to be people go to a place called Hell — and live separated from God; and
6. Every person who has ever lived on earth is faced with a personal choice about Jesus and eternity!

The Apostle John wrote the Book of Revelation. He wrote it as he was commanded to write it . . . he simply reported what he heard and what he saw. In fact, he refers to it as the Revelation of Jesus Christ! He begins by addressing a group of Churches which Jesus tells what they did well and where they had short-comings. Modern day students begin to separate on who the Churches were and when they appeared in human history. Then those same students bicker over exactly at what stage of John’s writing Jesus actually returns. Each group actually has a label they proudly wear!

Good grief!! It ought to be enough that we know that He is coming again, and that when He does, He will make all things right! There is a whole mess of stuff that needs to be made right. We ought to rejoice in just knowing that everything works out right and that God is glorified in the process.

Mankind has always had an appetite to know intimate details on this subject — ever since Jesus announced to His disciples that He was going away, but would return again. Their interest was not nearly as much as to the “why” or “how” as it was about the “when” of it all. In fact, Jesus told them on one occasion, “That information is simply not something you need to know, it is something that the Father has reserved unto Himself.”

In spite of that powerful statement Jesus made, there have still been many, many books written on the subject. The majority of which argue the author’s beliefs . . . pretty much what he believes because someone taught him to believe that. Rarely does one find a book on the subject that simply encourages a Believer to delight, rejoice about, and prepare for the Lord’s return.

I am currently teaching Revelation in Sunday school. I am enjoying it, and I am being as absolutely honest as I know how to be with my class and, consequently say, “I simply don’t know” quite a bit, and I know some folks get weary of that because I can see in their eyes that they strongly believe they DO know.

A couple of weeks back Sandy, Chris, and I went into the Country Club dining room for Sunday lunch. The hostess asked if we had a reservation. We said that we did not. She tried to seat us at the first table, and I declined. Sandy asked why I didn’t want that table. I chuckled and said, “They always try to set the folks they think are idiots at that table.” My son Chris tends to be a smart aleck on occasion and said, “Well, at least idiots who fail to make reservations!” The dude made a great point!

Here is what we need to know about Revelation . . . It is going to be “game up” at some point and Jesus said there would be a dividing of the sheep (those who have made reservations) and the goats (those who have failed to make reservations).

It Seems to me . . . that wise and prudent people would do well to invest their time, energy, and influence with others in helping as many folks as possible make their reservation, and not spend any time foolishly arguing about things they simply do not and cannot know!

Revelation . . . what an exciting book! What a wonderful assurance that things end well! What a cause for celebration! We have a wonderful dwelling place and shall so be with the Lord forever . . . and it all begins on that great gettin’ up morning that draws closer as each day passes! Hope to see you up there.

I suggest that you crack open your Bible and read Revelation . . . there is a blessing promised to all who read it. I also encourage you to exercise some caution about who you tell about what you have read. Sadly, some folks can turn the glow up on their halo instantly when Revelation comes up. What a tragedy that is!


Immigration . . . A Hot Tamale!

I grew up in Texas . . . I have lived here almost all of my life except for short periods spent working in another state. As far back as I know, my people have been in Texas. I have read about and heard some of the older folks speak of our folks coming to Texas from Tennessee and/or Alabama. I believe that is much like most Texas families of Anglo-Saxon heritage. We were all part of the Western migration. I have studied the migration patterns and folk-ways of most of the folks/groups who immigrated here from across Europe. Our folks came here from Ireland and Scotland and had long been part of the land wars . . . poor people fighting an unwinnable war against wealthy English, absentee land-owners. Mel Gibson starred in a movie about that very thing.

An important part of Texas history is also that this land has historically always been occupied by brown-skinned folks . . . both Mexicans and Indians (Native Americans). My family, as most long-term Texas families, has always dealt with and respected their equal claim to and dream to own a piece of this land. My family name is on the plaque in the Alamo.

Immigration is about folks coming to live in a new land, and that has long been a part of the human experience. People move around and are often looking for greener pastures. Throughout history, that often involved moving/relocating from nation to nation. Israel in the Old Testament was quite amazing in their nomadic ways.

I have, as a thinking adult, often chuckled about the bold claim that “Christopher Columbus discovered America.” Think about that for a minute . . . he could not “discover” a land that was already occupied by others. The truth is that he simply arrived here by sheer accident—he was trying to get to India. He returned to England and told others about this great land and others have been coming here ever since. Over the past 100+ years, some folks have become self-righteous and indignant about others coming here and have screamed for limits on who is permitted to come here to live.

The 20th century will prove a great case-study for historians and will likely be described as a book-end phenomena of immigration into the USA. Over the first two decades of that century, there was a great wave who immigrated here from across Europe, then Congress was pressured into curtailing immigration to a trickle. That reduction in immigration continued up to the early 1980’s and there was a new wave of immigration . . . This time by those from the South who came here illegally.

That wave of immigrants set off a raging debate and brought cries for a barrier to be permanently erected between the USA and Mexico. This year it has reached a boiling point and a great number of folks are supporting a loud mouth, wise-cracking buffoon for President simply because he has been loud, mean, and arrogant in his comments relative to this issue.

Honestly, I don’t know the right and wrong of the issue, but I am simply unable to begrudge folks for wanting and seeking the very thing my forefathers wanted and came here seeking. I do know several of those immigrants and find them honest, decent, hard-working, and honorable people. In fact, I love and admire some of them – they share my dream!

I have lived on the border, I own property on the border, and I have spent a considerable amount of time in Mexico. It breaks my heart to see the tragedy of poverty that exists there and the deplorable living standards there. If I lived there and had my darling, Sandy, Courtney, and Chris as little kids there—or Ali and Abi—I would do whatever I had to do to get my family to this great land of opportunity! In my mind, that is what a husband, dad, and a granddad does!

Immigration . . . a real hot tamale!! It sure makes us as a people appear mean, ugly, and selfish. It is pretty sad to think about families sleeping tonight in the wilds of remote and rugged areas, while trying to avoid the dangers and struggles of this harsh land, as they dream of a better life. The weather is sweltering hot—heat index of 100+, rattle snakes, wild and vicious boar hogs, large wild cats, and coyotes are a few of the obstacles. God bless those brave, hungry, and illegal people as they pursue the hope of life, liberty, security, and opportunity!

It Seems to me . . . that there must be a better way to deal with this perplexing matter of decency, dreaming, and hope . . . especially when it is something which we all have in common—those blessed to be born here and those who simply want to live here!


God always has the final word . . . He always will . . .

August 15, 2015

I love the “Oldies” . . . a term being used today to refer to the great music of the 50’s and 60’s. There are a number of radio stations around the country that only play that music — targeting my age group. One such station is Sirus/XM — Channel 6 – called “The 60’s on 6.” I listen to that station every day as I work-out in the pool. I really enjoy the music and remembering where I was when I listened to various hits during my life. There is just a history in it all – for me. I grew up on it.

The legendary Deejay, Bruce Marrow, affectionately known as “Cousin Brucie,” is one of the primary dudes who spins the records on that channel. Another Deejay is Peter Noon, who was Herman of Herman’s Hermits fame. Both of those guys are great, and they select and play great songs. Over the past couple of weeks, they have been talking on the air about and promoting the 50-year anniversary of the Beatles at Shea Stadium in New York City in August, 1966. The English music group known as the Beatles, were kicking off their second tour of the USA, and were introduced by Ed Sullivan and Cousin Brucie. There were some 55,000 screaming and hollering teenagers present that day, the outdoor concert produced $304,000, the largest gate in show business history up to that point in time.

The group consisted of four kids from England who loved music and had enormous talent . . . John Lennon, singer and guitar; Ringo Starr, singer and drums; George Harrison, singer and lead guitar, and Paul McCartney, singer and bass guitar. They were just kids who hit it big . . . made a great deal of money . . . and they enjoyed great fame. They would later become confused about some things about life . . . and they would make some very stupid statements, then get into a goofy, eastern religious system (cult), and ultimately their success would destroy the group. In their short run, they sold over 700 million records and ran away with just about every honor and award that a society could bestow on a rock group.

They produced some great albums: Abbey Road, Rubber Soul, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club. They recorded some terrific songs. Some are as follows:

Love Me Do . . . Let it be Me . . . Help . . . I Want to Hold Your Hand . . . Yesterday . . . Hey Jude . . . Twist and Shout . . . Come Together . . . Yellow Submarine . . . All My Loving . . . All You Need is Love . . . Baby it’s You . . . Can’t Buy me Love . . . Do you Want to Know a Secret . . . Don’t Let me Down . . . Get Back . . . I Saw her Standing There . . . The Long and Winding Road . . . Nowhere Man . . . Penny Lane . . . We can Work it out . . .

Their music was honestly pretty simple, innocent, and clean, but was described as reflecting the culture’s sociocultural revelation . . . and they began to buy into that goofy thinking. By 1970, the group had broken up. A huge example of how stupidity can destroy things as powerful as the chemistry and music of these goofy kids.

John Lennon made a stupid and crazy statement in public, “In no time at all, we will be more popular than Jesus Christ!” The group broke up shortly thereafter. I later recall the headline, “John Lennon gunned down in public!”

I liked the Beatles when I was a young guy (of course, I didn’t go nuts over them or their music as many did), but I enjoyed some of their songs. I knew that John Lennon had said a very ignorant thing, and was surprised and disappointed that none of the other guys stepped forward to say, “Hey, we are just a rock band, we don’t even want to compare with God’s only begotten son,” but they simply remained silent.

The money, fame, popularity are all gone . . . and those dudes are now dead.

Make no mistake . . . God will not be mocked. He will have the final say!

So this date in history is a reminder of a blast from the past . . . and about all that remains are some memories . . . along with some great truths that have always stood. Unshaken, regardless of what man or a culture may have said, done or thought.

Make no mistake . . . God will not be mocked. He will have the final word about everything!

Dwarfs . . . Little People (little only in size)

Last week we arrived in Burnet to hang out a few days. Upon arrival, I asked Chris to drop me off at the YMCA so I could work out. The Y has a nice pool and it is a good place to work out. As I was doing my routine, and looking around at all of the folks coming and going, I was thinking that I just might see a familiar face. Sandy and I had lived here a couple of years as newlyweds, so who knows.

I did not see a familiar face; however, I did see something cool that touched my heart—a man and his wife walked into the pool area . . . he was normal enough, but his wife was a dwarf—or if you prefer, a midget. She was a real chatterbox and quite friendly. It seemed that she knew most of the folks in and out of the pool. It was very obvious that she was friendly, pleasant, happy, and felt okay about herself. In a couple of moments, her son and daughter entered, and it was immediately clear that they were her children. I estimated them at 10 and 13 years. Soon they drifted off from their social-butterfly mom and got into the water. Neither kid showed any apprehension concerning the water (even the kiddie pool was over their heads) – the kids were really very short!

As I watched the mom and kids, I was taken back in time about 20 years to Beeville, Texas, where I encountered another dwarf . . . a man named James. James and I would become really good friends over the next few years. My situation has changed and I haven’t seen James for a few years, but I still think of him often.

I had just purchased a 100-unit apartment complex in Beeville. The complex was known as Rolling Meadows and was located next door to the high school. I was there one morning to meet the manager and look at and evaluate the management system. As I stood in front of the office with Meaghan, talking about her role as manager of the property, I saw him walking across the grounds. I was instantly taken by his appearance and interrupted Meaghan and said, “Look at that fellow.
The Lord certainly went to some additional effort in creating him.” When I looked down at Meaghan, she was wiping tears from her eyes and I feared I had said something offensive. She said, “That is James; he is my little brother and that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said about him. Thank you!”

Let me describe James. He was a handsome, short, muscular guy, wearing a white straw cowboy hat, denim shorts, converse high-top basketball shoes, dark sun-shades, and smoking a large cigar. I just thought he was the coolest guy.

Meaghan told me that she had been teased a great deal over James during her life and she was sensitive about him. I just didn’t get why anyone would tease her about James; he was just too cool. I suspect it was because he was different from others.

I asked Meaghan to introduce me to James, which she did. James and I quickly became friends. I just liked the guy and he sincerely appreciated my kindness to him and my friendship. Every time I was in town for the day, I made it a point to visit with my friend James and often took him and Meaghan to lunch. James and Meaghan both lived at Rolling Meadows.

Over time, I began to get the sense that my new friend James was a man who did not go very deep. He tended to live close to the surface and he was basically nervous about and around people. Most of his life he had been teased and made fun of, and thus, did not look favorably upon people. He basically saw them as mean-spirited and cold-hearted. That made me sad for James. Of course, I know there is much evil in the world and there are plenty of mean, ugly people around, but I also understand that we must live here for a while and it is better if we can find some things to smile about. I also have a deep and abiding faith in God and believe He has a plan for me. James had no such inclinations and simply did not believe much except that life was unfair and people were basically mean and bad. Life had taught him those things.

I tried from time to time to talk with James about it all, but he wasn’t very receptive. He was simply the way life had made him. That made me sad for him. I just thought he deserved so much better and I knew the Lord of Host commanded me to love James and be kind to him, both of which were actually pretty easy to do.

One day as James and I drove thru Beeville, we drove down St Mary’s Street past my old friend Kyle Mansker’s house. Kyle was the President of State Bank and Trust and he and his wife had purchased a lovely 100+ year old colonial, ‘Gone with the Wind’ style mansion. It is red brick, 2 and 1/2 stories high, with eight lovely old round white columns that went from floor to fascia on the top floor. It was a very impressive house. It had lovely grounds, too, and I suspect Kyle had a couple of full-time yard guys. As we drove past that grand old house, I pulled over to the curb, pointed up to the house and asked James what he thought about the place. With a quizzical expression on his face, he responded that it “was a pretty cool place.”

I asked James if he had a mansion and he exclaimed, “Of course not, I live in your apartments and the government helps pay my rent.” I told James that I had a mansion and he said that people had told him about my home in Aransas Pass. I chuckled and said I was not speaking of earthly holdings. I told James that Jesus said in John 14, “In my Father’s house there are many mansions and I go there to prepare a place for you.” After a brief discussion, my friend James called on Jesus’ name in saving faith. As we drove away from Kyle Mansker’s house, James spoke of his own mansion in Heaven. The notion sure pleased him. Perhaps it was the first time he had ever looked out into the future with hope and confidence and a sense of well-being.

I haven’t talked with James in a few years. I sold the apartments to a crook in Austin and that did not turn out well. I encountered Meaghan recently and she told me James had moved back to Ohio. She also told me that she had cleaned up her life, married, gotten right with God, and was an active member of First Baptist Church in Beeville. Meaghan is a new mommy! All of that made me happy for her.

I think about James from time to time and when I do, I pray for him. I still think James is one of the coolest guys I know. I hope he is well. I think it would be pretty cool if James and I have mansions next door to each other.

The Funeral . . .

I attended a funeral recently for a man who lived 90 years.

The Preacher focused on the man’s life and all that he had seen in that life.
As we all listened, some mourners were moved to tears,
As they listened to the report of the man’s struggle and strife.
As I listened, my mind zeroed in on what changes he had seen, and those I, too, have seen.
The truth settled in that time does, indeed, bring changes along.
As I considered the changes I have seen, it felt like someone had smacked me in the chin,
And I became sad as it occurred to me that my nation lost something, and is not as strong.

My friend lying in the pine box was born in 1925,
At a time in history when immigrants from Europe did arrive.
Of course, today immigration is still going strong,
But according to our law, it is all being done wrong.

As I struggled to understand where we had gone so wrong,
It occurred to me that we had elected fools who had no interest in getting along.
They ignored the laws we already had in the book,
And slowly each one turned into a selfish crook.

On the world stage, our position as steadfast, dependable, and strong was damaged,
Our enemies no longer respected and feared us,
Our allies and friends no longer trust us – our integrity has been shredded like cabbage;
We have slidden so far, we now have a Prez who is just a sorry cuss.

As I left the funeral service, the Preacher’s words pounded inside my head,
And as I reflected on it all I was troubled with a sense of dread,
As I considered Ali’s and Abi’s lives, and what they will see,
And wondered in another 50 years what will the USA actually be?

We have come a long ways in travel, medicine, convenience and invention,
But we have strayed far from honor, dignity, truth, and convention.
We have become a people who have a lot of stuff,
But tragically, it is just never seems to be enough.


The truth being declared . . .

An older lady, escorted by her husband, appeared before the County Judge in a small southern town. She had been charged with shoplifting. The judge asked the lady, “What did you steal?” The lady answered, “A can of peaches.” The Judge asked, “Why did you steal peaches?” The lady replied, “I was hungry.” The Judge asked her, “How many peaches were in the can?” The lady told him, “There were six peaches in the can.” The Judge said, “Then I am giving you six days in the County jail!”

The lady’s husband quickly asked the Judge if he might be heard before he gave the final order. Touched at the elderly fellow wanted to stand up for his wife said, “By all means, let your voice be heard.” The old fellow slowly smiled and said, “She also stole a large can of corn and a large can of peas” and then turned and sat back down.

Sometimes a man is compelled to tell the truth!

Numbers . . . Math . . . Case #3

A company sends three male employees to an out-of-town meeting. The men arrive at the hotel where the meeting will be held and at which they have reservations for a sleeping room which they will share. Upon arrival, the men identify themselves and ask to check in. The hotel desk clerk has the men complete the guest cards and charges them $30 for the room. Each man removes a $10 bill from his wallet and pays the clerk. They are given keys to the room and leave the lobby.

Later, the desk-clerk discovers that the men are there to attend the meeting that will be help in the banquet the next morning, and the special room rate for those guests is $25. After thinking about it for a while, the clerk removes a $5 bill from the cash drawer and summons the bellman. He explains the dilemma and handing him the $5 bill asks him to deliver it to the men, along with an explanation and his apologies. In the elevator, the bellman thinks about the dilemma and thinks that three men cannot evenly divine a $5 bill, so he puts the $5 in his pocket, and upon arrival at the men’s sleeping room, he explains the overcharge with a modified explanation and presents each one of the men with a $1.00 bill. Now, each man has paid $9.00.

Recap: 3 men each paid $9.00 = $27.00; the bell man skimmed $2.00, which he put in his pocket. $27.00 + $2.00 = $29.00

It Seems to me . . . that there is $1.00 missing! Any idea?

Hmm . . . maybe numbers do lie after all!