A Sad and Similar Situation . . but it’s quite different . . . and it is different because of attitude!

I once did back-to-back annual meetings for a large firm at a fancy resort on the coast in Washington State.  They were actually my seminars designed for that firm’s annual meetings. The President of the company had attended one of my seminars in Chicago and we quickly become friends and she made it known that she really liked my program.  Not too long afterwards, she engaged me to come up and spend a few days with her folks in Washington.  I really liked the group, the company, as well as the President and her family. The employees seemed to like my jokes, bought into my program, and made me feel like part of the family.  I felt I had made some friends.  Then, a few months later, the President called and asked me to come up again. She explained that there had been something of a power struggle within the company and some folks had left and there was still some friction and resentments.  She wanted me to try to help soothe some wounds and help folks feel better about it all. I vowed to try.  This group used a great deal of pomp and ceremony in their annual meetings. I recall that as I was reintroduced to the former employees and introduced to the new folks and as I walked to the podium in that banquet hall to their warm welcome, I looked out, surveyed the room, smiled and said, “Look around the room . . . there are about as many folks here as there were last year, but I can see that some folks have moved on . . . and that is probably a good thing for the company; but, I don’t know if it was for them!”  A hushed silence fell over the room . . . and I smiled and said, “An important part of the life experience involves new beginnings and that is a good thing! It was a new beginning when we learned to walk, when we learned to talk, when we started to school, when we finished school, when we got married, when we had children . . . each one of those life stages involved a new beginning.  Life is about growing and developing . . . and that often involves moving on.  As you look around the room, you will recall some folks who were here last year, but are not here today . . . and they are not here because some things worked out and they moved ahead and are doing well . . . and that is a good thing!  Yet, as you look around, you will remember some others that are not here today . . . and tragically their absence here today is not because of any improvement . . . they are gone because of their attitude . . . and that is not a good thing.  Here is a great truth of life: things change . . . and we can’t control that, but we can control our attitude. I assure you that anything in life is better with a good attitude than it is with a bad attitude! I suspect if their attitude was a problem here, it is probably a problem wherever they are today.”  The tension broke, they gave a robust applause and we rolled up our shirt sleeves and got to work on facilitating change in the work-place and developing good attitudes about life.  I think of that good experience from time to time. The past week has sure been such a time.

I met this pilgrim the early part of last week and he asked if I had any work he might do to make a little money.  He was a young guy, but showed some signs of being pretty beat up by life.  At the same time, it seemed obvious that some of it was likely self-inflicted, but hey, I try to give everyone a shot!  He explained that he had brought his girlfriend down to visit his grandmother and while they were here she went into labor and had a baby . . . two months premature.  The baby was still in the hospital.  Wow . . . I felt really bad for him and remembered a time when Courtney was a baby . . . and she was so sick; we were so afraid.  She was in the hospital 60 miles away. I had a flash-back . . . and saw myself in time.  I was so ready to help this guy . . . and I am in a position that I could really help him too!

As we talked he said his name was Jason and he was from Burnet; hey, my family has been around Burnet forever!  In the conversation I discovered that our families had been somewhat connected for several generations.  My family had gone to church with his great-grandparents, and his uncles had been in my youth group.  Dorothy, my mom, and some of their friends had prepared and served a family meal for his family when his great grandmother passed away.  I really felt a kinship with the guy and desperately wanted—and needed—to help him out. As we talked, it was obvious that he had limited job skills, but seemed basically teachable, and that was all okay.  I had quite a bit of grace for the guy and I was so ready to help him!  I clearly saw myself at a hard and troubled time in my younger years.

I had him start on some yard-work to see how he handled it.  Day one, he worked about 4 hours (@ $7.50 = $30.00) and came to the office and said he needed to go to the hospital and see the baby, but he needed $50 for gas and food.  I understood and gladly gave him the $50 with blessings.

The next day, he showed up at 2:00 p.m., and I let him wash the cars . . . flat rate $25 on the Suburban;  $25 on the BMW, and $20 on the ‘Vette (I have a pal named Eric White who is amazing at cleaning up cars and that is what he charges, so I believe it was fair).  He worked just under 3 hours and then said he had to leave, but he needed $70.00 to buy a car-seat for the baby. I gladly gave him $70.00, again with blessings.

He didn’t come around or call Thursday, Friday, or Saturday.  He called about 10:30 Monday morning and asked if I had any work he could do.  I was busy and really had no time to go find something for him to do, but I really wanted to help the guy!  I took him to the back yard and showed him the pool net and said, “You can net the pool out, rake leaves, and sweep off the pool deck.”  He was less than excited, which I certainly understand.  But, hey, a dude with a baby and a girlfriend to feed needs to work where and when he can.  The truth is there could and would have been something much better if he had just hung on.

I want to be fair here and say that 50 coastal oak trees around a large pool on the coast in the spring is just a plain mess!  The wind really blows here this time of the year and it serves several purposes (e.g. blows water from the Gulf of Mexico back into the bay system) and it cleans the junk out of the oak trees (which lose their leaves along with a messy, webby like stuff full of green pollen) every spring.  I have battled it every year for almost 30 years.

I went back into the office.  He called in about 30 minutes and said that he needed to go get something to eat.  I said ok, and “Let me know when you get back.”  In an hour or so, he texted that he was back on the job.  Then about an hour later he called and said that he was going home for the day and announced that the wind was making the task difficult.  The dude actually suggested that we just cut all of the trees down!

He left and in about half an hour texted me and asked if he could get paid today and said he was out of cigarettes . . . I did the calculation . . . I had advanced him $120 . . . and with great charity involved, I determined that he has “earned” $130.00. I told him to come on by the office and I would have a check for him. I will give the dude $100 and will wish him well and . . . sadly, I guess I am done with him.

I was once there myself . . . I was indeed . . . and I do remember it, vividly!  But I also remember that I completely understood that no one owed me anything, but that I was blessed with a good brain and a strong back and I could work . . . and work I did!  I never slacked off, made excuses, or ran away from any honest work.  In fact, when I was at the same place as this pilgrim is today, I owed a little country bank in Bertram so much stinking money on Courtney and her medical bills that I had to clean up that bank every day and mow the yard every week just to pay my debt (and they really had a bunch of really big oak trees, and you know I did not have a riding mower with a bagger system).  But I will tell you what I did have . . . I had a great wife who stood by me day in and day out, who encouraged me every step of the way, making me believe that I would one day be very successful!  I also had drive, determination, and ambition . . . and every minute I was doing that low-level work at that bank, I was thinking, planning, and figuring how I would one day own that bank!  LOL . . . The truth is that I never did own that bank or any part of it . . . but a few years later I did own part of another and considerably larger bank down south . . . and today my kids even own a piece of it, too!!  It Seem to me . . . It is all about attitude!  A good attitude coupled with a healthy work ethic can take one a long ways up the road . . . the Lord has been faithful and blessed my work . . . and it sure has been a good formula for me.  Then again, on the flip side, a poor attitude, coupled with a touch of lazy and selfishness . . . has put (kept) lots of folks in the poor house!

It makes me sad, but I am thinking that is likely poor old Jason’s future . . . and the tragedy is that puts that sweet little baby boy right there, too . . . but then, again, perhaps only for a few years . . . history testifies that many a person has risen above poverty to find success and break the cycle . . . it just comes down to attitude and work ethic . . . (and I believe a faithfulness to return God’s part back to Him, too)!

 

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